What's your fictional-universe dream job?

"BorkBorkBjork" (tbirdlemons) 03/31/2016 at 12:31 • Filed to: None

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Imagine you could transport to any fictional universe, but you had to seek gainful employment. What would be your dream job?

Personally, I would love to be an arms dealer in the Star Wars universe. Their weapon systems are pathetic! I could make a killing selling point-defense and CIW systems to the Empire.

Go ahead, fly down that trench, I dare you.

Think about it. No Star Wars faction I know of even has Beyond Visual Range combat capability. No high-speed guided missiles to intercept marauding aircraft in-atmosphere, no shaped-charge warheads to deal with armored vehicles, and no effective body-armor.

Pathetic

Outside of that, I’d probably be a freighter captain in the Firefly universe. I think I would have fun being a space-swashbuckler.

What’s your fictional dream job, Oppo? No cheap-ass BS (I want to be a king/ruler/lazy-ass that doesn’t have to work), pick a real job.

Nibby > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 12:39

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Being paid seven figures annually for not doing anything.

Azrek > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 12:39

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I am holding all the keys and guarding all the doors.

 > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 12:40

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I want to drive the RV.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 12:40

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I think any parts supplier in star wars would be a good job. Like sell hyperdrives.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 12:41

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Redline - car creator/mechanic.

First impulse answer, anyway. Maybe Speed Racer as an alternate. It’s a hard pick, because I like any universe with old steel and putting funny things in old steel, but there’s such a thing as not being in a fictional universe that sucks. Redline doesn’t appear to be generally sucky, and has the advantage of interstellar travel and technology indistinguishable from magic.

BorkBorkBjork >  03/31/2016 at 12:42

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Best movie ever.

Urambo Tauro > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 12:42

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Dream job? éX-Driver . Whether or not that counts as a fictional universe has yet to be seen, though...

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 12:43

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Music Worker

BorkBorkBjork > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 03/31/2016 at 12:47

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I would worry about working in parts in Star Wars. It seems that every single machine is a full-blown AI that is completely self aware, so your whole parts store would be giving you lip service 24-hours a day.

I feel like they made a major leap in robotics technology, but it put them a hundred years backwards as far as capability.

BorkBorkBjork > Nibby 03/31/2016 at 12:52

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You can do that in this universe. Just become a lame-duck president.

BorkBorkBjork > Urambo Tauro 03/31/2016 at 12:54

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Read that article, not sure where how the whole “ex-driver” thing works compared to a conspicuously placed kill-switch.

Party-vi > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 12:54

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Six figs, bruh.

Stapleface > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 12:57

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I'd pretty much do your second job, but I don't even need to be the pilot. I think I would be happy being someone like Jayne's character, the grunt who goes on the runs. Plus, I would get to hang out around Morena Baccarin and Jewel Staite. Sign me up!

BorkBorkBjork > Party-vi 03/31/2016 at 12:58

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My brain farted and I thought it said 6.

Or maybe it’s a conspiracy.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:01

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AkursedX > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:01

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I think being an Auror in the Harry Potter universe would be fitting. Or a Ghostbuster. Or an A-wing pilot....

interstate366, now In The Industry > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:03

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I’d run a bar in the Simpsons universe. As much of a dump as Moe’s is, people in Springfield have to want to go somewhere else to drink.

BorkBorkBjork > interstate366, now In The Industry 03/31/2016 at 13:10

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Running a pub has always been in the back of my mind. Maybe in a few years I’ll buy a local watering hole and you can call the bar asking for I.P. Freely.

BorkBorkBjork > AkursedX 03/31/2016 at 13:16

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Consider the rest of the universes, though. If you were a Ghostbuster, that would mean that ghosts are REAL.

In the harry potter universe you’d be surrounded by people with world-ending magical powers who ceased their traditional education at age 11. Kids without any formal history courses are given access to time travel!

Alfalfa > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:16

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Firefly. I want to be captain of my own somewhat illegitimate contracting ship. That’s all I want, Reavers be damned!

Biggus Dickus (RevsBro) > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:19

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Being a Spectre in the Mass Effect universe would be, interesting, to say the least. Or I could just go rogue and chill at Omega.

KatzManDu > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:22

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Starship Captain.

BorkBorkBjork > Alfalfa 03/31/2016 at 13:23

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It was a strong contender for my first choice. Firefly satisfies so many adventurous fantasies: Science-fiction, Age-of-Sail, Anti-Imperial Rebellion. Such a wonderful show, it was cancelled far too early.

BorkBorkBjork > Biggus Dickus (RevsBro) 03/31/2016 at 13:24

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Yea, but then you gotta deal with the inevitable genocidal AI.

Biggus Dickus (RevsBro) > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:27

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My odds are pretty good that i’ll be long dead by the time they come back.

BorkBorkBjork > KatzManDu 03/31/2016 at 13:27

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Pick a universe, there’s lots of fictional Starships out there.

Biggus Dickus (RevsBro) > Azrek 03/31/2016 at 13:29

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Always loved Smith.

KatzManDu > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:29

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E92M3 > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:36

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I don’t care what universe, so long as there’s a human dictator/king/emperor/whateva. I don’t want to be king. I want to be his VPFA (Vice President of Female Affairs). Search the galaxy for the finest females, and test them out before delivering them to the leader.

BorkBorkBjork > KatzManDu 03/31/2016 at 13:37

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Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:37

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But the market would be huge. Just think of the issues that you see with hyperdrives. Just sell them. I’m also not convinced that everything would give you lip 24/7

McMike > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 13:43

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Mercenary for hire.

The Powershift in Steve's '12 Ford Focus killed it's TCM (under warranty!) > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 03/31/2016 at 13:48

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This. I’d love a job at Corellian Engineering Corporation. I’d say Kuat Drive Yards, because have a bigger budget, but they’re products tend to be a bit more controversial...

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > The Powershift in Steve's '12 Ford Focus killed it's TCM (under warranty!) 03/31/2016 at 13:55

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Any company that makes craft or ammunition in the Star Wars universe is absolutely rolling in cash.

BorkBorkBjork > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 03/31/2016 at 14:14

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Maybe you should have an Interstellar towing service too. You’re right, those hyperdrives are made of paper, think of all the service charges you could tack on to rescuing ships stranded between star systems!

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 14:17

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Being the hero of the free world and pulling all the admiral’s daughters 80's style:

BorkBorkBjork > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 03/31/2016 at 14:17

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Yea, their defense industry is laughably incompetant yet massively over-funded. The majority of their construction has to be automated, they could never afford the skilled labor costs for maintaining that kind of fleet. Contruction-robot vendor? That would be an amazing middle-man position.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 14:18

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You’d be making some massive bank.

BorkBorkBjork > Mark - Sixpots None The Richer 03/31/2016 at 14:20

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Hell yea! And you could splash as many MiGs as you want and never start a world-ending nuclear war!

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 14:33

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And what is the worst job in any fictional universe?

Being my RIO.

He will suffer from my egotistic behaviour and my embarrising pick up tactics. On top of that he won’t be rewarded for his endurance and loyalty. No, he will die! And he doesn’t even go out graciously in mortal combat. He’s getting squashed between two childish dicks during a training session...

BorkBorkBjork > Mark - Sixpots None The Richer 03/31/2016 at 14:36

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Meh, RIOs are interchangeable in the Top Gun universe. You’ll forget about him after the montage.

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 14:52

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Those poor bastards...

I’d be a mantastic legend though and that’s the most important thing!

RallyWrench > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 15:01

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I’d have to go with being a badass spaceship mechanic like Amos in the Expanse series.

BorkBorkBjork > McMike 03/31/2016 at 15:41

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Just make sure you always fulfill your contracts, or Pizza is gonna send out for YOU!

Pickup_man > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 17:06

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Honestly, I wouldn’t mind being like Rey. Exploring and taking apart bad ass starships and getting to ride around on my hover-motorcycle-thing. That would be pretty awesome IMO. Granted she gets paid like crap, but I’d just have to find a better planet/buyer to work on/for, or just become the buyer myself.

Becoming a kick ass Jedi would also be a plus, but I’m not really sure you can call being a Jedi a “job”.

BorkBorkBjork > Pickup_man 03/31/2016 at 17:12

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Indentured servitude doesn’t sound fun to me, and that instant-bread looks like congealed dog vomit.

Pickup_man > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 17:27

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That is the drawback. I would find a way to do it without the whole indentured servitude part. So basically I ride around on my hover motorcycle thing and find stuff to take apart, then sell it.

Brian, The Life of > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 18:42

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But to do that you first need an obstructionist Congress.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Brian, The Life of 03/31/2016 at 21:52

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Sounds like almost exactly what we’ve already got...

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 22:12

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Adventurer/hero type a la skyrim or eragon (dragon rider in that one I guess). Hopefully I wouldn’t take an arrow to the knee. Or, more realistically, a blacksmith in one of those.

interstate366, now In The Industry > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 22:36

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My favorite of the prank calls was the one for Hugh Jass, and a guy named Hugh Jass was actually there.

I’m thinking of starting my own brewery. Not quite the same, but the same industry.

BorkBorkBjork > interstate366, now In The Industry 03/31/2016 at 23:23

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That’s getting though due to huge competition. Most bars don’t have the tap space for all the local breweries, so you have to bottle everything, which is expensive and time consuming.

interstate366, now In The Industry > BorkBorkBjork 03/31/2016 at 23:45

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Yeah, that’s the only reservation I have about it. I live in an area (Richmond) with a lot of craft breweries. It’s getting pretty saturated.

CaptDale - is secretly British > BorkBorkBjork 04/01/2016 at 11:53

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I would want to be the hero (ie Kirito) in SAO

I don’t know why, just would be awesome!

KirkyV > BorkBorkBjork 04/03/2016 at 23:32

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Like, I wanna say Starfleet Captain, but then I think about Picard, and I know I’m not good enough to be the Picard the Federation needs.

So, I dunno, transporter technician? With the possibility of a later lateral career-move to starship/shuttle helmsman if my confidence picks up.

Scott > BorkBorkBjork 04/10/2016 at 15:13

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Ummm I recall seeing a change in rules about NSFW on Oppo... so I'll refrain from answer this further.